


Once Again, We Begin

by safarialuna



Series: Kinkalot 2020 [4]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Era, Character Death Fix, Character Death In Dream, Fix-It, Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, King Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Kinkalot 2020, Love Confessions, M/M, Merlin's Magic Revealed (Merlin), POV Arthur
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-16
Updated: 2020-08-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:02:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25937116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/safarialuna/pseuds/safarialuna
Summary: That dream could become his future, Arthur realised. One day, he’d die in battle. Another indecisive young king, forgotten. His feelings, unspoken.And Merlin, alone. He’d hate that the most.
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Series: Kinkalot 2020 [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1862053
Comments: 20
Kudos: 172
Collections: Kinkalot 2020





	Once Again, We Begin

**Author's Note:**

> **NOTE:** There are mentions of a major character's death, but only in a prophetic dream. The death of the character does not happen.
> 
> Challenge One: Five Senses

On the thirtieth anniversary of his birth and his mother’s death, Arthur realised he had made a terrible mistake. 

*

After failed negotiations and an abundance of sour wine the night before, lurid dreams had taken over: Merlin chanting in an ancient tongue. The smell of lake mud and freshly cracked lightning creeping down his throat. Pale hands and fire. Lips pressed against his forehead and he awoke alone in a cold sweat.

Fragments of death dug into his mind like thorns; it made him bounce on the balls of his scrubbed-raw feet when Merlin dressed him in a courtly jacket and set a crown on his head. 

That night, laughter fled down the halls and called out to him in the field behind the castle. He tore off his jacket and after maiming dozens of invisible enemies with his sword, he flopped onto the ground. He sucked in the chilled air. His chest hurt, but not from sword-swinging.

He squinted up at the sugar-dust stars and let the sounds of night wash over him. When he heard his manservant sit beside him, he said, “Have I been a good king?”

Merlin tilted his head up at the sky, his chin in his hands, elbows on his bent knees, waiting. Arthur was well aware he’d asked this rhetorical question often and never let Merlin voice his opinion. He was far from perfect and Merlin had the misfortune of seeing him cracking at the seams. He’d hated it. 

But this time, Arthur continued. “What would you do?” 

“I’m simply a manservant.”

That dream could become his future, he realised. One day, he’d die in battle. Another indecisive young king, forgotten. His feelings, unspoken.

And Merlin, alone. He’d hate that the most. 

Arthur turned over and seized Merlin’s wrist. “No, you’re not.” He lifted up Merlin’s hand. “Before you say anything, I’m not ill, drunk, cursed, enchanted, or suddenly more madder than I normally am.”

He brushed his lips against Merlin’s knuckles, inhaling the scent of lavender and hay. He watched Merlin’s eyebrows draw together. At the weak reaction, he dragged his tongue across a pair of Merlin’s moles. He wanted Merlin to understand with each touch how much he meant to him. 

“Arthur?”

“I don’t want you to leave me.”

Merlin pulled his hand away, staring at it as if he’d never seen it before. “I would never leave you. Whether you wanted me to or not.”

“And stay my manservant?” Arthur whispered. He leaned over and brushed the sweaty strands of Merlin’s hair away from his eyes. He’d never touched Merlin like this before, never been this close and let it be something. He’d hardly spoken plain truths and they’d both suffered for it. 

Arthur kneeled between Merlin’s legs, desperately trying to control his eddying emotions. “What if we were something more?” He raised his hands over Merlin’s breeches. “May I?”

Merlin let out a shuddering breath and nodded. Before Arthur could think about how he was finally making a decision without killing himself over possible consequences, he peeled down Merlin’s breeches and took Merlin’s cock in his mouth, the tip rubbing against his throat. He gagged. He gazed up through watery eyes as Merlin gaped down at him.

Arthur startled. He pulled off and sat back, dazed. He was painfully hard. They studied each other. “Merlin. Does this…seem a bit hasty and strange to you?”

“I’m fine with hasty and strange.”

Arthur raised an eyebrow, then shook his head. “I had a dream.”

“A dream about you sucking me off?”

“No!” Arthur curled his lip. “I died. If I died tomorrow, I would have so many regrets, I couldn’t count them all.”

“And you’d regret never sucking cock?”

“That’s not what I meant!” He shoved Merlin onto the grass and undid his own belt, placing his knees on either side of Merlin’s thighs. He grasped Merlin’s chin and bit his neck. Merlin muffled a cry and his breath grew harsher and pounded against Arthur’s throat. 

Arthur’s elbow rested in the fallen leaves, his arm framing Merlin’s face. “I want only _you_.” Arthur reached down and rubbed his and Merlin’s precum over the tips and down their lengths with the pad of his thumb. He gripped Merlin’s hand as they both stroked their throbbing lengths together. “Belong only to me.”

“You really are thick,” Merlin panted. 

“Do you swear it?”

“Alright, _yes_! I’ve wanted to do this for ages.”

“Really?” He let out a startled laugh. “For how long?” He licked the shell of Merlin’s ear before sucking on the lobe.

Merlin slipped his hand underneath Arthur’s shirt. “Figure it out, Your Highness. You’re the king of the castle behind us.”

Arthur smirked. “Even like this, you’re you.”

“And you’re still a prat.” Merlin pinched a nipple.

“I suppose.” Arthur winced. “Thankfully, I have you to keep me in line as my new consort and advisor.”

“Why—”

“Because it’s always been you. For me. Now let me feel you fall apart, Merlin.”

Merlin jolted. With a hitched, “Arthur,” he increased in speed, his sharp cheekbones flushed in pleasure. He locked eyes with Arthur and released with a strangled sob. Arthur followed, crying out as he stained Merlin’s shirt. 

At Merlin’s pained expression, Arthur began, “Are you okay—”

“I’m a sorcerer. I have magic,” Merlin blurted. 

Arthur froze. At that moment, he recalled his dream as if it were a forgotten memory: Merlin had said the very same thing, tears rolling down his face.

Arthur sat back and intertwined Merlin’s trembling fingers with his own. He spoke softly, his heart crashing against his ribs in that fragile moment. Beyond the confusion and hurt, he focused on their joined hands. It gave him courage. He suspected Merlin possessed an abundance of it. Always had. 

Always would. 

“Merlin, I want you to tell me everything. Leave nothing out. I’ll do the same.” He bent down and kissed Merlin’s forehead. “And then I believe the two of us can finally begin.”


End file.
